Of Canaries and Birthdays
by Soviet Dilbertman
Summary: It's Melissa's birthday, but Sousuke mistakens it by thinking she wanted a canary. It all goes downhill from here...


**Well, hello there! I hope you enjoy this story, because it has canaries and birthdays as the topic..wait, who want's someone to misunderstood a person's birthday by thinking that they want to get a canary? Duh. **

**FMP and Looney Tunes are not mine. **

**WARNING: This fic has language in it, some violence and alcohol use. **

* * *

"Oh, crap...I don't feel good." Melissa said She kept squirming and twirling. Beer cans and cigarette butts were everywhere. The hangover girl got up from her distant twirling and saw her calendar. She opened her eyes.

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!" Melissa yelled at the top of her lungs. "I forgot last night that it was my birthday the next day." Mellissa ran from her quarters and zoomed in the bathroom. Kurz raised an eyebrow as he and Sousuke watched her zip in the bathroom.

"What is she so excited about?" He said.

"She said something about getting a canary..." Sousuke said.

"I thought it was her birthday today." Kurz said.

"I don't understand Americans yet, but she said she wanted a bird." Sousuke said.

"Wow, Sousuke...you can be pretty stupid at times." Kurz said.

* * *

A freshly done Melissa exited the bathroom. She looked pretty; with clean clothes on, showered and ready to go. Melissa hopped down the stairs and ran into Tessa.

"Morning Melly." Tessa said, keeping a smug grin on her face.

"Morning, Miss! It's my birthday tod-" Melissa said before getting cut off by a faint tweet. Melissa walked over to the tweeter and saw Sousuke with a bird cage and a canary inside it.

"Uh...what the hell is this?" Melissa said.

"You said you wanted a canary?" Sousuke said.

"I didn't want a canary. It's my birthday today." Melissa said.

"I don't understand...I got this damned canary for you, and you turn me off?" Sousuke said. "I want an explanation!"

"Forget this...I'm going out to breakfast." Melissa said and stormed off. Tessa raised an eyebrow.

"Are you sure you got her that canary?" Tessa said.

"Yeah." Sousuke said.

"It's her birthday today." Tessa said.

"You mean canary." Sousuke said.

"No, birthday."

"Canary."

"No, birthday."

"CANARY."

"BIRTHDAY."

"CANARY, DAMN IT!"

"BIRTHDAY!"

"CANARY!"

"BIRTHDAY!"

The dispute began to erupt. Sousuke and Tessa were beginning to argue about the things about canaries and birthdays.

"Guys..." Kurz said.

"MELISSA DIDN'T WANT A CANARY!" Tessa yelled out.

"YEAH SHE DID, YOU STUPID FU-" Sousuke said. Before he formed his sentence, Tessa kicked him in the testicles, and he collapsed, winching.

"Ol' military otaku having a dispute?" Kaname said, observing the scene. Kurz sighed and nodded.

* * *

1 hour later, Melissa came back inside the Tuathar de Daanan, exhausted and full. She slumped to the couch and sighed.

"Melissa Mao, report to the captain's quarters immediately." The intercom said.

"Goddamn it..." Melissa muttered and walked to Tessa's quarters. "It's my friggin birthday and they don't give a crap..."

* * *

"Is anyone ready to surprise Melissa yet?" Tessa said.

"Yeah...hey, I got a question...why are we in your bathroom?" Kurz said.

"Because Melissa visits this bathroom often. So shut up and get ready." Tessa whispered.

"She wanted the canary right?" Sousuke said. Tessa slapped him with ease.

* * *

"Hello...Tess?" Melissa said. "Kurz...anyone?" Melissa kept looking for the gang. Little does she know they were in the bathroom.

"DAMN IT, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? I KNOW YOU ARE OUT HERE SOMEWHERE!" Mellisa yelled out. She slid on the bathroom door, frustrated. Tears began forming in her eyes and she put her hands on her face.

* * *

"What is that stupid noise?" Kurz said.

Sounds like Mellisa is moaning." Kaname said. The moans became higher.

"She's crying...quick, get someone!" Tessa said.

"I am not going outside." Sousuke said. Kaname nodded as well.

"Kurz, you go outside." Tessa said. Kurz sighed and walked outside. His jaw dropped as he saw a sobbing Melissa.

"Do not fear, Kurz is here!" Kurz said. "What's wrong babe?" He began comforting Melissa.

"It's my birthday and I can't find you guys!" Melissa sobbed.

"I see...look. Sousuke didn't mean the canary or anything." Kurz said.

"I HEARD THAT!" Sousuke yelled.

"But Tessa said you wanted a happy birthday, right?" Kurz said.

"Yeah..." Melissa said.

"Look, if Sousuke misunderstood your birthday, he is trying to understand that it's someone's birthday." Kurz said. "But everyone knows, right?"

"Yeah...where is the party at?" Melissa said. Kurz smiled and opened the bathroom door. Sousuke, Tessa and Kaname jumped out, yelling "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MELISSA!" Presents were scattered all over the bathroom and a brightly colored birthday cake was sitting on Tessa's arms. Melissa's jaw dropped in surprise.

"You are kidding, right?" Melissa said.

"Nope!" Kurz said, with Kaname and Tessa.

"I disagree." Sousuke said. Everyone shot a glare at him.

* * *

After a birthday song, present opening, which was a beer pack, a purple purse, her canary, new clothes, hammock and a M249 machine gun, and cake eating, Melissa dropped another beer can on the ground.

"This is the life, eh Tweety?" Melissa said, reasurring the bird.

"You betcha!" Tweety said. "No more puddy tat for me!"

"Hell yeah." Melissa said. The two clahsed their drinks and sipped it in happiness. Sylvester looked at the two in shock.

"Sufferin succotash!" He said in shock.

THE END

* * *

**Don't ask why Tweety Bird and Sylvester the cat are in this fic. I added them for no random reason. R&R! :3**


End file.
